It's been a month since Matt and I broke up. Much to my surprise, i haven't fallen into a pit of horrible despair, nor have i contemplated suicide as i (and he) feared i would.
I have been strong. There have been a few days where i sat here despondent and cursing life, but most days have been spent not really dwelling on it too much. I am so thankful for my freinds. Without them i don't know how i would have gotten through this so easily.
Amazing how what used to be my absolute worst fear has managed to be something I can deal with. I thank Matt for being with me and helping me to become more of the person i always wanted to be, rather than the cold weak shell I was in the past. I am in a healthy place now, and for that I am grateful.
I am also grateful for the person I found, as soon as i stopped wanting to look. I'm not sure how far or where it will take me, but being in a relationship where your partner verbally recognizes you for more than what you feel you are, for what the world can see you as, is just amazing and I'm almost in as much awe of him as he seems to be of me. Someone who sees me as beautiful even when all sweaty and gross after practice. Someone who understands so much about me without me having to tell him outright. Thank you for coming along at the perfect time Steven.
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